Friday, April 10, 2009
aNd aNoThEr PaSsEd..
and if i go on like this.. i'll prob see myself bloggin once a wk.. jus like my army days..
i hope not.. anyway... life jus cant go on like this..
i hav been thinkin harddd abt my life 4 the last few daes.. which wan should i commit myself more?? the church or work?? and i realize i knew the answer.. the main thing is.. i cant forsee myself as a cell grp leader.. prob not one in the near futue.. becoz im more interested in buildin relationships and befriendin wif ordinary ppl rather than church affairs.. often durin conversations.. i'll b proned 2 hear abt ppl talkin abt the ppl out there rather than the ppl in church.. i'll b more interested in events tt happen in the marketplace rather than the events tt ar happenin in the church..
perhaps a connect grp leader or a ministry member will i reach at the most.. there's no doubt im able 2 provide discipleship and counselling.. but i hav doubts over the ability to reach a targetted goal.. take 4 example.. a cg wanted a large amount of ppl by the end of june.. rite now the attendance did not even reach half tt amount.. if i were the cgl.. i'll surely harbor the intention 2 step down..
for many yrs when bigg days arrive.. i pledged friendz but brought none.. this easter i was told tt i've got a quite alot of names here.. but i try 2 convince them not 2 believe in those numbers.. and i was told tt i jus do wat i can.. and these few daes im so horrified of myself.. i jus couldnt open my mouth and ask.. i could onli set goals tt i hav complete control or at least 50% of them.. in short.. church growth is still not for me..
sometimes i wonder if im created w/o the ability to bring friendz 2 church or to evangelise to the masses.. perhaps i hav.. perhaps i hav not.. i've yet 2 discover tt within me.. but i would b utterly disappointed of myself if i happen 2 set a target so high tt i couldnt even sniff at it.. makin promises in a hyped up moment.. tt's not wEiwEi at all..
wEiwEi|11:20 PM
