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it is always impt 2 noe the purpose of a thing or it will lead 2 abuse.. but at times when u ar so clear cut of the purpose u may miss the fantasies and the wonder tt ur mind could ever tink..

well take 4 example.. all the wonderful leaders and ppl tt lived in the world.. they created history and shook the world wif their words and actions.. but little they noe tt they ar made from God and John the baptist once sae, "God is able 2 raise abraham from these stones," mani ppl were called and onli few were chosen by God.. and more few of these were actualli found faithful.. therefore nv despise ur calling.. 4 God can use u in a special way.. u nv noe when u ar goin 2 lead someday..

ohh alrite.. so wat it has 2 do wif the fantasies??

well 2 b honest.. we ar everydae bein mesmerised by great and talented ppl in the world ard us.. but as 4 me i'll jus appreciate wat they hav 2 offer.. coz at the end of the dae they ar jus formed by God and if they ar too haughty and proud of their achievements.. they would get it someday somehow.. however in everydae life.. we ar so mesmerised by our peers and tend 2 depend on them in a great extend..

therefore in my church and all my life though im thankful 4 all the great ppl tt hav crossed or impacted my life.. but i noe tt the ppl i hav came into contact will come 2 pass... tt they will lead their own lives and settled themselves down.. 5 yrs down the road.. when we all hav careers and families.. who would realli go back 2 the same old circle of friendz 10 yrs ago?? i hardly doubt so.. friendz can onli carry us into a certain stage in our lives and we hav 2 get on wif our lives and share our dependence wif a new circle of friendz.. tt is y in my life i hav no friendz for more than 10 yrs and the relationship is still goin strong.. coz i noe tt 1 dae i hav 2 go this way and he hav 2 go tt way..

and it's so ironic.. ppl find me a friendly person but yet i did not preserve long relations..




now the bible speaks abt samson beginnin and the end and mani preachers condemned his life.. but 2dae pastor told a wonderful story abt this guy..

he told us tt samson is wat the church is supposed 2 b.. as samson was a nazarite.. he was supposed not 2 cut his hair.. not 2 drink liquor and b consecrated 4 God.. and the hair stands 4 the prayer length and time spent everydae wif go.. as we spend time prayin.. we will grow more and more spirtually.. jus like our hair grows.. and we mus always keep our minds sharp and not b drunk.. and also our lifestyles mus b righteous and holy 2 b set apart from the world..

pastor continues sayin, "when u practice these 3 things everydae.. the anointin of God would come upon u.. and u will do great things 4 God!!" indeed by prayer we see revivals.. we mus b focused and conscious in everythin we do and also b diff from the world so tt our lives will prosper..

ultimately.. God places us talents.. and when we sow our talents into God's kingdom such as serving one another.. we will discover our great potential and then we will shine 4 Jesus and bring forth excellence in our lives.. though we hav little talents.. we can shake the world!! also wif mani dreams and visions.. tt we can b a planet shaker or a history maker.. we noe tt 1 dae.. we will make it real big..

however.. jus like samson we ar all tempted in one way or another.. so all the time we hav 2 make a decision 2 stand b4 God.. however.. the bible saes tt samson did not giv in 2 his desires as he went in wif a prostitute.. and sometimes by our own foolishness unnecessary troubles could happen.. and also when we giv into our desires we may eventually cease our prayer time and b mixed wif the world.. by tt time we will b reduced 2 nothin..

but thank God tt He always will forgiv us and cleanse us when we come back 2 Him.. for He gives us always a second chance.. however.. the bible saes tt samson cried out 2 God and he pulled down the walls of the building wif his hands tied and he died wif his enemies in the building..

and then his family members buried him in zorah... it is the place where samson birthed forth his dream.. pastor made such a touchin statement, "when samson died.. he was buried in where he started 2 realize his dream.. and when u turn back 2 God.. God will always put u back 2 the dream and vision tt u left off.." immediately i felt so touched and loved..

i hav once lost it.. and i tot it would b no more and its time 2 get on.. but jus when i was so despair wif my life.. God showed me the way 2 turn back and led me 2 my original path again..

at tt moment i cried.. i tried 2 hold back.. but somehow tears overflowed my eyes.. in my heart i hav made a decision.. and im glad tt i came 2 church..




my life is now hangin at a balance.. dunno wat 2 do..

when my supervisor doris told me tt she had bad news.. she meant it.. she sae tt the lady boss insist the attachment students 2 stay on at the weekends so tt we "could learn more".. but she didnt realize she will damage the wellbeing of the students.. well aniwae she might hav tot, "wat's the wellbeing of these students 2 me?? they come and go, wouldn't commit 2 the company.. take our wages and write a report.. and perhaps would not even increase the company's profit and yet tire down the senior staffs into guidin and assistin them.. "

how wrong she was.. how i wish tt i could tok 2 her face 2 face 4 a negotiation.. or i wish i was a union leader..

and it realli struck me wat a renowned soccer player sae b4, "ppl always complained tt life isn't fair.. but the fact is life isnt always fair.. coz if it's fair.. it would b called "fair".. but it isn't.. it is called "life".." how rite he was i tot.. u lose some and u gain some.. unequal amt altogether..

and this is perhaps my last sunday service.. from nxt wk onwards i would join xin hong ex cg members 4 cg and service for the nxt dunno how mani long wks.. i pray tt it will b fast.. real fast.. or else the daes would jus b as tormenting as ever..

as i rem b4 tt i wrote in the previous entries tt im expectin a change real fast.. im already well prepared.. u would probably wan 2 ask me, "well... will u miss anyone??" i will ans, "no.."

"haha.. surely u would miss some wonderful memories 2gether wif the cg.."

"no.."

"not even the gals or guys in the cg tt hav once touched and impacted ur lives verii much??"

"no.."

"realli no regrets??"

"no"




well my hair's gettin long and it doesn't reflects well on my image.. feels like im back 2 2003 when i hav realli long fringes up till my chin.. and furthermore t yr im always tying up my hair.. can u imagine how goodness gracious wEiwEi is at tt time??

so i did makeover at T'Fans.. then i went 2 church.. and the rest is history..

and now im combin centre parting again.. i hav no time 2 cut my hair wif all those stupid work at hand.. later hav 2 pia 2 workplace again and do OT becoz customer may call me up in the mornin 2 book her air ticket.. thank God i took half day off this week.. or else i would b stuck in tt rotten place and it seems like 4eva!! lolzz..

so 4 a start.. i'll probably decide 2 trim my hair and leave a little bit of frindge.. then i'll dye my hair mint ash.. which is the color of milk tea where green and white ash blends 2gether 4 a beautiful combination.. do u tink tt works?? but on the other hand.. it would b somewhat similar 2 eric's hair color.. but i dun tink i would like 2 hav his hairstyle.. as i would like 2 keep my image of bein pure innocent and young.. lolzz.. (betcha some of u might b vomitting in front of ur com rite now.. do wide up ur mess when u do tt.. lolzz..) if anyone of u hav any comments.. pls feel free 2 tagg it on my tagbox.. i need suggestions.. jus like my cg leader debate on which color she should dye when we were eatin prata!! muahahaha...

dun hav much time 2 update u all further liaoz.. goin 2 work soon.. it would b a wonderful dae at work.. i believe..




i told daryl tt i will miss fellowship as the horizontal line of the cross is wat i am lackin.. he assured me tt im gonna b alrite.. well he had certainly missed something..

if i am not wrong.. most of the cg members 2dae were happily fellowshippin and enjoyin themselves w/o askin, "where is wEiwEi??" well the bible sae to realli sow into someone's life.. we mus plant the seed.. water it consistently and God gave the increase..

now in the 3 parts.. which part actualli failed me??

izzit God did not giv the increase?? well God promises ar yes and amen.. surely it cant b God.. did i not plant the seed into their lives.. well i made the best i know how durin fellowship.. but i believed tt it was a shadow of inconsistency tt let me down.. on one dae i could b so jovial and talkin 2 u and expressin the best i know how and nxt thing u noe me i hardly talk when we were hanging out.. my soul is jus like a divided whole between the darkness and light.. indeed the relationship will die and live inconsistently.. jus like the soul is..

the attachment would realli b a tough 12 wks.. not physically but mentally.. jus the tot of burnin ur weekends make u feel uneasy.. u will not see the cg.. u will go 4 make up services.. u can even hardly meet up wif them durin bible studies.. and its almost impossible 2 fellowship wif long hrs of work tt u ar required 2 commit...

and wat will happen after the 12 wks?? i seriously do not noe.. but im sure tt the cg looks at me in a diff perspective and vice versa.. by tt time tt would mean it's time 4 a change.. the cg would prosper and multiply or members' life has been consistently updated tt i lose the edge of fellowshippin wif them.. things could even get worse when im bein transferred.. but anyways.. it would altogether b so different..

my journey of faith is indeed alone and myself.. yes though i've got Jesus.. but my legs and hands were the ones who carried me throughout this race of faith.. not the others..

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