Sunday, February 25, 2007
d0 s0mEtHiN
tutors meetin at ruth's hse 2dae.. we had a great time fellowship.. but at the same time it was a meaningful 1..
my superior ruth asked me abt my future commitment abt the tuition ministry.. as i couldn't gave her an outright yes.. she asked y..
i told her tt the reason was my cgl refusal 2 release me.. as daryl told me 2 suspend my ministry work 4 the time bein.. she sae i should not b doin this.. coz its like manipulation.. and my life is mine 2 control as i should make a firm decision on my desires and my decision..
when she sae tt.. she exposed my dilemma.. i wan 2 serve.. but i cant..
there were so mani times in the past.. where i had 2 go 4 makeup cg jus 2 serve in my tuition ministry.. however.. some time ago.. daryl wans me 2 show commitment 2 cg meetings and so i had 2 compromise.. where i serve and attend regular cg meetin alternately..
now when im in the army.. things slightly became diff.. i had 2 giv in 2 my reg cg meetin becoz i cant go 4 cg meetings on week nites.. and tuition ministry was served in an ad hoc basis.. whenever time allows.. i will go back..
things became diff now.. tuition has rised 2 another level.. the tutors mus all b commited as the prog has changed and the tutors were demanded 2 hav a higher std of teachin as trainin is catered 2 us..
which means.. i hav 2 b there every wk..
there's onli 1 win-win situation: set the cg meetin timin 2 a later part of the dae..
this could barely b realized as i noe tt i cant b selfish and sacrifice 4 the gd of the cg..
which means im left wif 2 options: go 4 makeup or leave the ministry..
which means tt i'll rather spend less time fellowshippin wif my cg mem or i'll quit teachin..
i felt tt i love my life.. i love my ministry and my cg.. but most impt is givin a tot in my future.. the vision i had mus b followed closely and work mus b done 2 reach towards the goal..
decision mus b made..
wEiwEi|7:19 PM
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
CNY 2007
1st.. wEiwEi wishes everyone a happi and prosperous chi new yr..
sun - went 2 collect ang baos.. the moment i stepped in.. everyone rushed 2 giv me their ang baos and in 3 min time.. i collected all the ang baos tt my relatives gave.. the nxt thing i did.. went into my cousin's room and play game..
i rem when we were young.. we used 2 snatch our turns and everyone was so eager 2 get their hands on the controller.. times hav changed.. nobody wans 2 play now.. i was even callin my other cousins 2 take my place..
in fact.. gamin was so borin tt i decided 2 take a nap at my aunt's place b4 dinner..
dinner is at siam kitchen.. celebated my 21st bdae there wif my relatives.. the ang baos were even larger than the ones this mornin.. and i collected a record of almost $600 4 my bdae and new yr ang baos... PSP here i come!!
mon - visited angela's hse.. watch TV.. watch VCD.. slpp.. and then went home.. kinda borin.. my parents left 2 japan 4 a holidae.. i hope they get me somethin nice from hokkaido..
tues - even more bored.. at home nothin 2 do.. book-in blues again.. thank God POP in 3 daes time..
wEiwEi|5:09 PM
Sunday, February 18, 2007
CeLeBrAtIoNs
130207
my 21st bdae has passed 2 daes ago.. God is speakin 2 me not 2 look back at my pass.. However.. there is a prob.. y am i always on the ball when it comes 2 army issues??
perhaps the ppl ard me would like 2 noe this too..
i realized in the midst of my focus an dconcentration 2 progress as a soldier.. i forget all my emotions.. my pasts and all the things tt could tie me down emotionally.. tt is y in 1 of my previous entry.. i find myself weird..
God once again told me 2 keep opn pressin 4ward 2 the prize tt's ahead.. the rhema word 4 this yr kept on flashin on my head remindin me again and again not 2 lose hope..
i could not even tink wat God will wan me 2 do in the future.. i may desire 2 b in this field or in tt area of influence.. however.. the only constant thing in life is change.. i am always mentally ready 4 tt..
160207
CNY comes.. this yr will b rather packed and excitin becoz im goin 2 spend the time wif my loved ones.. furthermore.. POP is nxt wk!!
perhaps the only deflation 4 2dae is tt we hav 2 camo our face durin live firin (as other coys dun do tt) and we ar the last coy 2 book out.. its rather irritatin.. however.. i believe wat i sow in tears i will reap wif joy in my future army daes..
im totally sick of SISPEC already.. however.. my sufferin daes ar numbered..
wEiwEi|10:19 AM
c0uNt mY bLeSsInGs
050207
2dae as i read the church mag "harvest times".. i saw dr bernard topic on "happiness is.. countin ur blessings everydae.."
many preachers hav pointed out tt we get thru life everydae w/o even thinkin the gd things God has blessed us.. it's true tt once God did somethin significant in my life.. i would notice it and appreciate wat He has done.. however.. its all these little things tt ar also worthy 2 b thanked 4..
also.. i felt tt i need 2 b more thankful 2 God 4 wat He has done in my life.. so mani times i hav neglected tt im always hatin the army life.. now if the poison in my mind is hatred and criticism to the styles.. y not change the thinkin?? i shall b thankful of the things tt God has placed in my camp.. all things work 4 the gd 4 those who believe in Him..
070207
a dae 2 rejoice.. miraculously.. i passed my SOC!!
it was tough esp runnin down wif the SAR21 and when u reached the 1st obstacle is like the devil has placed a big barrier 4 u.. nevertheless i climbed over it and after u overcame the barrier.. there is the parallel bar 2 go thru.. though the bar was also tough.. it is still managable..
after tt.. i hav 2 jump over the log and climb the monkey bar.. every bar tells u its tough.. it is impt 2 shut them up by grabbin on them quickly.. after the monkey bar.. there's a rope 2 climb.. by this time u ar totally exhausted.. only a focused mind can help u pull thru.. i grabbed the rope but i struggled 2 get hold of my footin.. i kept on hangin on the rope and im so burned out.. suddenly.. my mind keptt tellin me, "dun gfiv up.. dun giv up.." and staff sufian was down there tellin me wat 2 do.. i picked myself up.. found my footin.. and reach 4 the top.. and off i go..
the subsequent obstacles were a test of confidence and faith.. i had no probs wif those.. however.. after the last obstacle.. the body was absolutely exhausted but there's the finishin pt 2 run.. i ran wif wat i hav and wat i hav is a slow pace.. 2wards the finishin pt.. the ppl were there cheerin.. i used up watever strength i still hav and i ran towards it.. the timin was 10:15 and it is a pass..
i thank God 4 strength and i noe thru it all.. He was wif me.. however.. the SOC has tot me tt in life.. when u tot tt u hav done it all.. there's still the finishin pt 2 reach.. the end of all ur probs is still not ur final destination..even when u noe u cant go on.. u mus still go on.. perhaps life is not how u solve ur own probs.. but how u finish ur life mission in gd old earth..
wEiwEi|10:02 AM
