Currently playin on my PSP:
(tales of the world: radiant mythology)







and 2dae i jus started playin this:
(juiced 2: hot import nights)




well more games to come!! actualli 4 a long period of time i hav been playin fifa 08 on my psp.. but my friendzz find it dumb.. laggin.. and uninterestin.. furthermore i onli knew how 2 play fifa and nba from EA sports 4 all this yrs..

but i realized its time 2 make a change..

reason is becoz i wan 2 b more relevant and enlarge my social circle.. 2 b honest i do not noe how 2 play dota.. but if i start playin now i'll b an absolute noob jus waitin 4 my friendz 2 thrash me.. so rite now im learnin 2 play games tt ar relevant and challengin..

another reason is 2 reach out and enter the hearts of the youths.. lets face it.. nowadays youths ar gettin hooked on games and if i dun taste wat they ar indulgin i'll nv b able 2 click wif them.. i believe its a gdd start when i explore and tryout more of these games.. hopefully it'll work and i'll b able 2 reach out more effectively..

gone were the daes where they ar an aboslute no-brainer.. indeed it's true tt these games do help stimulate the mind.. but let it b unto me a gddd stimulation function so tt i could teach the young ones 2 do gddd..




i finally knew the reason y im saddd most of the time..

when gdd things come 2 an endd.. or when somethin's finishin.. i'll always feel tt the joy tt was tasted were merely jus an illusion.. or sometimes its like robbery.. it steals the spirit of joy and happiness away when things.. or gdd things.. had ended..

take 4 example.. christmas is comin.. rite?? always at christmas i'll feel like damn sadddd.. even though its Jesus' birthdae.. then come new yr eve i'll prob cryy.. coz the yr has ended.. to get over it and move on 2 the nxt yr could perhaps take some time.. and i'll often miss wat God has installed 4 me in the new yr..

overall.. this feelin is like a thief.. and perhaps its the devil's masterplan..?? or watever heck tt it was called.. aniwae im goin 2 destroy this awful taste.. and it'll rock the inner deepest feelings of my heart..

first off im gonna focus on the eternity of God.. "gddd things wont come 2 an end becoz God is gddd.. and His mercy endures 4eva.." (right.. this shall b a rhema 4 nxt yr..) watever tt causes a sudden shutdown of the spirit of happiness is the invasion of the devil.. so focus the goodness of God.. everydae i'll place myself in a vision where the goodness of God flow and pours over me everydae.. and in abundance He shall give..

and the action plan i had is to hav a mindset of appreciation and movin 4ward.. God made the earth and it was gdd and He has delight in it.. so i'll jus appreciate wat was given by Him.. when the happi events and celebrations etc etc comes 2 an end.. i'll b lookin 4ward.. sometimes reality hits harddd esp when work resumes the following thereafter.. but the cure is actualli lookin further 2 the daes ahead and noe tt God's goodness will b there 4 us again..

the emergency plan would b 2 drill my mind wif the followin statements:

"the future will b glorious and my life will go even further.."

"this is not the end.. its a glimpse of eternity in heaven.."

"well.. Jesus died on the cross.. becoz He saw the joy tt was set b4 Him.."

the final blow would b 2 4get the unhappi pasts and memories tt were set in my mind.. yes events ar hardd 2 4get.. but the emotions and the pain tt was set 4 these past events can b 4gotten.. in the culture of Christ this was preached time and again becoz Jesus Himself forgives.. if the unhappiness wsn't 4gotten at all it could pave the way 4 the devil's comeback 2 steal the joy away again..

whooo.. i felt great!! moving ahead!!




it's supposed 2 b a dae where i relax and enjoy the things outside of camp b4 i go back in 2nite.. but 2dae it seems so diff..

the fridge at home is gettin from bad 2 worse.. while dad and mum were tryin 2 source out 4 a new one.. i can see the frozen foods ar "suffocatin" from min 2 min.. hr 2 hr.. and i cant cook my fav campbell soup wif butter and mushroom.. coz i need some stuff from the fridge.. and it seems tt nothin is guaranteed fresh already..

in the end i jus cook the soup and i onli add some butter.. then i log on 2 the net and went 2 soccernet.com.. and i saw to my utmost horror.. ENGLAND'S OUT of euro 2008.. y cant they capitalize the opportunity when they hav a lifeline of hope?? now everythin's history and the manager's sacked from the national team.. im like shattered.. and england is the team i hav been supportin since 1998.. (of coz.. back then was david beckham.. now's still david beckham..) and wat was heartbroken is tt the match was inspired by beckham's comeback and when they hav tied the game croatia scored another goal and england lost..

tea time came and i baked up a couple of chicken wings.. when it was ready i found tt the wings were already "hard-ly" fried and the meat taste like brick.. i hav no choice coz im hungry.. i jus took them..

then dinner came soon thereafter.. i decided 2 eat my fav lor mee stall but when i went there its already finished.. dejected i looked 4 an alternative.. i ordered duck rice then.. weird tots then seeped into my mine tt the duck rice were like a heavenly food 4 the poor and im like 1 of them.. but when i ate i felt so pathetic eatin it.. tots like, "am i tt poor?? do i hav 2 live like this??" came in.. (get this poverty mindset BEHIND ME!!)

mayb i should hav change my mindset.. partly i felt so sadd 2dae is becoz of all the saddd songz tt were inside my media player.. secular music of faith and confidence dun realli help at all.. i guess my hope is in God.. aniwae i'll b bookin in 2nite.. hopefully the darkness of the dae will fade away..




4 the past few nites i hav been sleepin in diff places.. and 4 the nxt 2 nites i'll b sleepin in diff beds again..

2 nites ago i slept in my original bunk as usual.. the original bunk tt i stayed is actualli the storeman's bunk and i jus lodged in wif them coz there's an xtra bed.. however the storemen aint a gddd lot 2 bunk wif.. sometime they came back 2 camp realli late at nite or earli in the mornin.. most of the time their place were jus messy.. (ok mine's messy though.. but at least i could clear up in a huff.. whereas they would need some time 2 clear up theirs)

the commando-freak-CSM had our butts whacked.. he came 2 my bunk by surprise and gave me a hell of a scoldin.. but after tt he asked me if i could relocate my place.. OC stepped in and told me 2 sleep wif the commanders as there is a spare bunk in their midst..

so there u go.. last nite i slept wif them and its kinda weird sleepin side by side as the 2 beds were jus nxt 2 each other.. im kinda scared tt if i hugged the guy nxt 2 me or perhaps i'll kick him when im sleepin.. but thank God nothin like tt happened.. i slept soundly and when i woke up its already nxt mornin..

once again mr commando told me tt he had plans 4 me 2 relocate into another bunk and his intention is not 2 put me wif the commanders.. so tt means i hav 2 shift once again.. this time he had put me into the 3rd level and he told me the small room tt he placed me will b the medics bunk..

im like happi.. hahaha.. i saw the room and though it was small.. it's big enuff 2 accomodate 4 ppl: 3 platoon medics and me.. and the place looks great.. its quite cosy and quiet.. i can realli read my bible and pray and realli communicate wif God in this room.. however 2dae the CSM gave us 1.5 daes off.. so 2nite i'll b sleepin at home and the tomolo nite i'll b sleepin in my new found bunk..

unlike BMT.. i hav no probs sleepin in a new place.. nowadays it seems tt i can sleep anywhere.. coz im jus too tired at nite.. or rather when the clock strikes at a certain timin.. haha..






this was me shootin over the defender some time ago when im playin bball.. cool rite?? i hav made an entry 4 this bball game tt i scored 35 pts in a total of 4 games.. but unfortunately my dodgy hamstring has always been a prob 4 my games..

last sat the cg played bball.. and it was from a strong demand from our china boys and also me.. hahaha.. im quite amazed tt actualli alot of ppl came.. but my real challenge was to take on the china boys.. and rong fei had the determination and strength and the shootin touch.. sometimes its diff 2 win him.. but when he defended me the exp was quite familiar.. i knew how 2 break down this defence.. and so i put up the ball and won him on a 1-on-1 match..

aniwae its kinda weird when the cg recognize me 4 my bball skills.. when they dun even had much knowledge on the game..




NOTE: another milestone 2 celebrate.. this be my 300th entry 4 this bloggg since feb 2005!! hurrah hurrahh~~

so things went back as usual back in 2SIR.. however the last few daes we were preparin 4 a parade 2 welcome our battalion CO and bid farewell 2 our current one.. so trainin has been disrupted 4 a while becoz of the preparations and the parade.. but startin from tomolo trainin will b back as usual..

and 4 the last few weeks.. i find myself restin alot.. or rather i found myself nothin 2 do.. i went 2 the med ctr and found tt there were not much 2 do.. and in the coy line there is nothin i can do coz everyone ar trainin at their infantry aspects..

so in the end i found myself lazing in bunk.. jus lyin on the bed.. i tried 2 slp and kill time.. but time passed so slow.. i did not find myself slpin at all wif all the shouts and orders from the coy.. and so everydae's like this and it goes on and on..

till 1 dae i found myself lyin on bed feelin realli crazy.. i feel like shoutin out my rants like a madman.. then i felt so disgusted abt the bed.. but on the other hand im realli tired physically coz i've been waking up realli earli the past few daes and sleepin late at nite.. all becoz of the fact tt i couldn't slp and tug myself 2 bedd becoz i felt so disgusted.. most of the time i felt like a piggg and the bed like a mudpool..

it's realli kinda weird 2 live dae by dae in the army like tt.. in the midst of it i pray tt i do not lose my vision abt the things tt i wan 2 do after i ORD.. jus becoz my lifestyle's like tt doesn't mean i should carry on like this when i ORD..

i pray tt all these will end tomolo when the physical aspects of trainin starts.. but still there's alot of covers tt i need 2 provide so tt means i will not train wif them alot.. ohhh well.. wat abt me?? i need 2 train too!! man im gettin weak!!




well after spendin my time in non-english speakin countries like malaysia and thailand.. i felt tt perhaps i should learn 2 communicate wif them better..

well how to?? firstly they dun speak eng.. and when they dun speak eng u expect me 2 speak wif them chi?? (or mayb hokkien??) ok its not tt they dunno english entirely.. they knew abit from pickup lines here and there and other tourists.. but when u wan 2 tok 2 them or strike a conversation wif them its a totally diff thing already..

in malaysia the ppl wanted 2 treat me like a nice friendzz.. sometimes they tot im one of them.. so when they open their mouths they tok 2 me in behasa melayu.. (ok i may hav gone thru the malay conversion course.. but its the language tt i did not pass out 2 become a full-fledged malay lim!!) and when i opened mine.. they still tok abit of melayu wif me b4 i tried 2 convince them i dunno malay at all.. (ok not realli.. but at least 90% of wat they sae i dunno ok??)

in thailand they treat me like a king.. well actualli they treat all the tourists like kings.. but knowin tt we cant speak thai.. they tried 2 understand wat we ar tryin 2 sae and they jus make efforts 2 help us.. when we gave more detailed instructions or preferences they would b like completely lost.. so in the end i hav 2 make things eassi 4 them.. and i had alot of preferences.. but i cant tell them becoz they dunno wat im talkin abt.. (its not i didnt tried.. but they wouldn't understand!!)

therefore the tricky one is actualli thailand.. dad told me i should hav practiced some "street signs" so tt they could understand wat i realli wan..

but it'll b great if i can strike a decent conversation wif the locals.. so tt they would advise me on tips and tricks 2 travel ard the country.. 4 the least..




open up my eyes to the things unseen..

this verse has been stucked in my mind 4 quite some time: "elisha prayed, 'Lord, open up their eyes so tt they may see!!' and behold.. they saw chariots of fire and armies all over from the mountain.."

stucked since the live firin range 2 wks ago.. indeed i saw.. the goodness of God.. fulfiling into my life nowadays.. God has always been tryin 2 come into our lives and giv us His blessings.. onli tt we need 2 see it.. and receive it.. then we'll see the blessings flowin thru..

after the mornin meetings has ended.. i headed down 2 the med ctr and the medics there were jus happi 2 see me ard.. suddenly farhan approached me and showed me the manpower chart.. which comprises of all the medics in our battalion.. the HQ BCS medics.. the coy medics.. and the platoon medics.. he pointed and my name and sae..

"look.. would it b an ideal plan if we shift ur name here to the HQ strength??"

colin, the med ctr 2ic is goin 2 ORD soon.. tt goes 4 the other coy medics.. who ar goin 2 ORD even sooner.. wat farhan meant is 2 push me 2 become a medic spec in HQ and let the incomin medic specs 2 become the coy medics..

earlier in my prev entries.. i found freedom at coy line.. up till 2dae i felt the decision was rite 2 go there.. but then i realized.. there ar actualli pros and cons 2 both sides.. actualli both the pros and cons weigh almost the same despite the fact tt they ar actualli diff in facts.. i dunno wat 2 choose.. the OC and CSM at bravo had been gdd.. they ar settin rules and standards tt protects us from trouble.. however while the med ctr did not make rules and efforts like the coy.. it actualli exercises freedom of clearin offs and leaves as and when we wanted.. there ar even much more examples.. but i realli couldn't sae much..

in actual fact i bond 2gether wif my fellow medics better than the sect coms.. after all we ar doin diff things and its a natural thing 2 bond wif the same profession.. perhaps i should once again hang ard wif the medics.. it realli felt like home at the med ctr..




alrite.. my KL trip has actualli ended on last fri.. 2nd nov..

i rem on the way i tot abt alot of things.. camp.. cg.. back 2 sg again.. stress has came back etc etc.. true enuff.. wat i had left behind had 2 b dealed wif.. wat i hav attempted 2 runaway from will come back 2 me again.. tt's reality 4 u.. it hurts..

then again.. i'll jus leave the rest of the matters 2 God's hands..

i had actualli a gdd time in KL.. the past few daes i jus focused on plannin the places 2 go.. the bad part is tt sometimes cong doesn't wan 2 go or the place is disappointin as it didn't seemed as gdd as it's expected.. at times i jus wan 2 take a break and lie on my hotel bed.. i realli wanted a gdd break from sg.. but it seems tt i didn't had one.. cong's idea was tt he wanted 2 make full use of the time here in KL and not 2 come here and slp..

so in the end.. i did not slp well for 2 nites at KL.. even though the bed is gddd.. i felt refreshed yet physically i dun feel energetic and fit.. when i came home on fri nite i still hav 2 settle 4 the hotel 4 my upcomin phuket trip.. in the end i slept rather late again..

woke up in a sudden shock nxt mornin becoz of the bball game tt was organized 4 the younger ones.. i realized i was late so i rushed down in a huff.. and when i reached there durin the game.. i felt so lethargic.. i couldn't do much runs.. but since this is not realli a match game i tot i'd jus pass the ball ard and jus let the rest of them hav fun.. and true enuff i jus played like i dunno how.. but i felt gdd abt the entire outreach..

reached home and slept late again and woke up this mornin at 7.. again i felt like a zombie.. i seriously tink tt i could not go on like this.. but i'll jus keep my mind strong.. there's still a dae ahead.. so i went on wif the dae pretti ok.. except the fact tt im bookin in like real soon.. the tot of it didn't seemed pleasin..

in the midst wat was realli precious was God's presence wif me.. i mayb dead on my physical body but my spiritual body seemed so alive.. it'll b another challenge on the comin weeks where i hav 2 strengthen this physical body 4 all the trainin programmes tt were lined up 4 me..

thank God there's still another holidae this week.. im goin 2 phuket!!

wEiwEi
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