u noe the prev time.. i actualli typed in my bloggg tt i dun like those who change the course of their dreams sayin tt they wan 2 b this and suddenly some time down the road.. they actualli wan 2 b tt..

how i actualli stuck tt gun up my butt.. the word is actualli on me...

a mth ago when i went 4 my haircut.. my hairdresser actualli asked me where i wan 2 go after i completed NS.. i answered, "well mayb this is my plan A.. but if it fails i may go 4 plan B.." upon hearin tt he gave advice and told me 2 go 4 plan B instead..

when i heard tt.. i was not influenced by his words in my decisions.. but somehow later i began 2 tink otherwise..

mesmerized by fav idol zhuge liang from the book romance of the three kingdoms.. i began 2 act like him.. tink like him and even devised plans like him.. soon i felt tt i became so much like him tt watever i tink or talked abt.. it is almost as equal as him..

i realli felt tt i wan 2 b a CEO or the top management of an MNC.. if not a SME tt excels.. 2 b plannin for the best and success soon became my ultimate goal for life.. soon later i almost 4get tt i wan 2 b wat i wan earlier on..

then when i was chattin wif 1 of my friendzz.. i told him tt i actualli wat 2 b this and how i do it.. then he suddenly turned 2 me and sae, "ehh?? i tot u wan 2 b tt earlier on??"

immediately i kept my quiet.. realizin tt i actualli stabbed myself when i bloggg an entry abt dreams somewhat earlier on..

but izzit a God given dream?? i do not noe.. but when i noe when im walkin rite wif God i keep on dreamin 2 b this somebody until recently i hav second thoughts when i hav not been sensitive 2 the Holy Spirit.. now come 2 tink of it.. the earlier dream doesn't rekindle the passion in life i had previously.. i pray tt it will come back 2 me once again as God show me His way 4 my purpose in His kingdom..




if u see wEiwEi givin a sly smile.. it means tt he's thinkin of somethin..

but until 2dae.. i realized tt sly smile is up 2 no gd..

when i was prayin in cg 2dae.. the Holy Spirit sae somethin..

"adam tot he could become like God.. but wat happen when he ate of the fruit.. he was stripped of all his divinity.."

but i tot 2 myself.. well if God wans me 2 die.. let it be..

again the Holy Spirit spoke 2 me, "u need 2 take tt step of faith 2 depend on God again.."

my mind was confused.. but i felt the presence of God comin back 2 me.. i started 2 sing a new hymn in my heart despite the fact tt im still prayin in tongues..

so finally.. my mind turned 2 God again.. this time i kept speakin in tongues.. interceding..

when i tot abt it on the way home.. yahzz my mind is realli at peace now.. the peace of God is when the mind is not thinkin abt anythin and fully aware abt wat God can do 2 our situation.. also the peace of God is when the mind is full of scriptures and confession from the word of God.. and also the peace of God is also lovin and adorin God and always thinkin abt givin praise and worship 2 His name..

so when gd old john called me jus now.. he mention abt how his friendzz tried 2 break up a relationship wif rumors and slanders.. after the phone call i was convinced tt when there's sin in a person's life.. we ar always interested in judgment but God is interested in repentance.. not onli tt.. whenever we hav plans.. it will cause confusion.. division.. but the mind of God is always peace and reconciliation..

woww.. such a revelation we hav.. no wonder we need Christ.. coz we judge the ppl too often and yet not concern abt their feelings..




there's no need 2 buy a ticket 2 hell.. u will get one and it'll b given free unexpectedly 2 u..

b4 the operation of my throat.. the pain was so unbearable.. at tt time i felt like dyin.. now the prob here is not u ar dyin... it is when u cried out 4 God and the pain doesn't seemed 2 subside..

the worst part is tt durin the operation.. u ar not knocked out by the jab.. but u stood there wif ur mouth open waitin 4 the needle 2 b operated at ur throat.. soon after i felt masses of poison spittin out of my mouth.. the poison was so grossed as it was like a huge lump of spoilt cockles piled and laid in front of me.. 1 is already enuff 2 make me sick.. the whole pile came 2 me.. the smell was so unbearable tt i vommitted out my lunch.. the process of vommittin.. operatin felt tt my body could not bear any longer 2 live..

but after the operation i rested in the hospital and i was discharged.. and the doc sae tt it was perfectly alrite..

so i tot hell was finally in my life.. at least i lived.. 2 fight another dae in this broken down world..

happily i tot it was over.. so i went JB wif 3 friendz on sunday.. jus 2 take a retreat from singapore stressful life.. lolzz..

a so-called retreat indeed.. the outin sems gd initially.. but when dinner comes its terrible..

a tune was played over the loud speakers in the restaurant.. one of my friendz sae.. "this tune is so depressin.. can we get out of here??" i looked at her and she seemed terrible.. the bubble tea drink beside her hand is like a glass of beer.. and her emotions were literally drunk.. then when i asked 4 the bill my friendz sae, "nvm.. i pay 4 it.. i treat u all.."

"ar u ok??" one of the others asked..

"yeah im fine.." she answered.. "this songz is so depressin.. let's get out of here.." and so when we got out she began 2 spill out the burdens tt she hav...

this aint no retreat.. i tot to myself.. i can see deep sorrow within her heart.. the sorrows were so deep tt it literally poisons one's soul 4 those who dun hav elixir of life (which is.. the salvation of Christ.. lolzz...) 4 a moment i can see tt it's so deep and immeasurable.. hell crashed her door and hades knocked on her life.. it seems tt i stood there not knowin wat 2 do and watch the events go on..

the nxt mornin i prayed.. i prayed 4 the restoration of my own salvation.. the life of God indeed brings peace 2 our hearts.. jus like wat the psalmist david saes, God has laid green pastures 4 us.. and the life of God is supposed 2 b like tt..




all my dreams had left my mind
all the thoughts doesn't seem right
looks like i hav no strength 2 fight
2 get back the things tt ar mine

the ppl seemed 2 come and go
without leavin a cloak of shadow
the time tt is spent when im wif them
when i tink of it, sometimes it makes no sense

wat's the use of making merry
when at the end of it, it's so weary??
and all the use of "retail therapy"
isn't it lavish spendin and consuming??

i could not picture the frame of my future
it's gettin so dark, it's gettin unclear
only God noes wat would my destiny be
but as 4 me, i could not see

ohhh i pray tt i may live victoriously!!
not in lack and always needy
restore the dream tt i used 2 live
o God, i plead and pray 2 thee




the hwa chong institution.. a nice sch.. filled wif the potential leaders and talents of the country.. wif sports and study they excel.. but they hav a dark side which i will exploit..

the dark side is actualli the canteen vendors themselves..

2dae i went 2 the canteens of these schs 2 do my survey.. as usual i need 2 report 2 the security post and as usual the security were verii nice as they let me in..

but when i reach there.. i was actualli shocked by the attitude by the canteen vendors.. now here is the response when i ask them qns..

me: (in chi) "excuse me sir, hi im from coca cola.. this is my company's letter.. jus wan 2 do a mkt survey ard here.. jus wan 2 check wif u.. how mani cartons of coke do u sell per wk in this place??"

vendor: (RUDELY) aiya.. dunno lahz..

me: oh so is there abt 20 cans per day??

vendor: dunno lahz.. dunno lahz!! (continue doin his stuff, ignorin me)

well since he ignore me might as well walk of.. labellin this outlet as a "rejected customer".. well 4 me bein rejected is part and parcel of my job.. no big deal.. so i went on 2 chinese high canteen 2 ask..

again i spoke the same words 2 the canteen vendor itself..

vendor: (smiles, in chi) ermm.. i dunno lehz.. (suddenly changes mood and frowns) aiya.. u check wif ur company can liaoz mahz.. y do u hav 2 ask me..

me: (in chi) no sir.. we jus wan 2 noe and find out how u sell.. so tt we can help u sell better..

vendor: (frustrated and pissed off.. dun even bother me)

me: (in chi) erm.. sir wat abt the green tea drinks??

vendor: aiya i dunno lahz..

me: is there abt 10-20 cans??

vendor: aiya u anyhow write can liaoz lahz!!

me: ok sir i jus need u 2 sign..

vendor: sign wat sign?? u ar jus onli wastin my time!! tell coca cola not 2 do this survey!!

when i walk out of the sch.. i feel like spittin on their ground and blast their attitude towards me.. they ar so GOU YAN KAN REN DI!!! i tell u, the students had bad attitude becoz these vendors led and prepared the way 4 them.. if i was a QC of this sch and if this sch is applyin 4 the people de eloper or ISO categories.. they confirm + guarantee will not get it until they sack these canteen vendors!!!

balestier hill sec sch is much more better when i visited some time ago.. the canteen vendors were 10x nicer.. the canteens of those sch cant even compare 2 this one in terms of manners.. i wonder y did the principal hired such crude ppl 2 their schs where they do not set gd examples 2 influence the young ones..

but still 4 the sake of xingni and heng yang i would not condemn the whole sch.. im holdin my judgment back..




ok 2dae i woke up of the bed from a bad dream.. im still tramautized by the fact tt bad dream which shows tt the clock stood still 2am in the middle of the nite.. in a desperate moment i prayedand the clock seems 2 resume 2 normal as it suddenly shows 4am.. but the dream worsened whereby my thoughts ar brought into alot of unknown things and situations and i woke up and i dunno where am i..

the nxt thing i knew is tt i walk out of my bedroom startin 2 feel a little giddy.. and soon i flt a little feverish.. so i found out tt i was sick.. i call charlene and she was kind enuff 2 tell me tt i need not produce an MC..

so i try my best 2 get healed.. i rested on bed wif a cold towel over my head.. a bible on my hand and my mouth began 2 worship God.. within 1 hr the fever subsided and i could feel no heat on teh forehead at all.. so i tot i ould go and work but my grandma urged me 2 stay at home and rest.. so i heed her advice and wanted 2 play some com games..

so cong recommended me a prog 2 install so tt i could burn my newly downloaded game file as image files.. but when i do so the com started 2 hang.. and b4 i knew it my windows had problems and i didnt even hav the chance 2 backup.. the result?? all my documents, my pics, my tuition worksheets ar all wiped away..

i realized tt my backup files ar wif alan.. so i trvelled all the way 2 jurong 2 meet him up.. and when im on my way bro anson called again tellin me 2 submit the worksheets and reprimandin me 4 not bein able 2 submit my worksheets on time.. furthermore he sae tt pastor wans 2 see me this sat 11am.. immediately i was shocked.. i ddint noe wat 2 sae and do.. and when i reached jurong alan did not bring the phone and i waited him and searched him high and low in the control station onli 2 find him 20min later sittin in a corner..

i tot tt's the end of my troubles.. i jus wish tt somebody would b wif me backin me up.. at the same time i felt tt God has forsaken me.. im so depressed..

but when i went 2 cg.. i actualli did the unthinkable.. when i shared my testimony i mentioned abt God's healin.. i wan 2 illustrate how miserable i am when im sick.. but i jus opened my mouth and sae,

"God is gd.."

immediately the atmosphere changed.. the presence of God came 2 administer 2 us.. i walked out of the cg feelin refreshed and ended the dae transformed..




well currently im chattin wif mooomoo princess... she's tellin me wat's she gonna do 4 her future.. she had already set her plans and stuff.. which i felt its pretty amazin..

and i rem some of my friendz sae tt they wan 2 do this wan 2 do tt.. and im quite impressed by their desires..

2dae i jus chatted wif 1 of my friendz darren.. he told me tt this certain member backslided from church.. i was like, how sad it was...

y is tt so?? he joined children church the yr b4.. and he told us tt he wanted 2 wait 4 his OM membership 2 come so tt he can join choir..

but b4 he could get any membership he left the church.. and everythin was totally shattered..

now i rem when i was asked wat i wan 2 b.. i hid it from the the others initially.. but after persistent askin i revealed wat i realli wanted 2 do.. they were quite amazed.. some of them were like, "ohh well ok.." while most of them admired my guts.. watever it is.. nothin can stop me from pursuin my dream.. sometimes its diff when u dun hav qualifications... when u do not hav a strong command bilingually.. or when u ar not the cream of the crop as this job they ar lookin 4 some aspects from the potential candidates..

but i rem some of them wanted somethin diff.. and like the others i admire their guts 2 dream.. but im kinda disappointed when they sae, "ohhh.. it'll b great if im in THAT profession!!" when previously they sae, "i wanted to do THIS actualli.." notice the diff?? this and tt.. 2 diff stuff we ar talkin abt..

how can we switch a course jus like this?? though God may sometimes call us do other stuff there is an ambition in ur heart tt needs 2 b fulfilled.. i pray tt none of u all will jus forsake ur ambitions jus becoz God calls us 2 go into this direction.. but at the same time trust God tt the ambition of ur heart will b fulfilled..

it mayb a little hard 2 understand.. but i believe God wans a two pronged approach.. firstly 2 fulfil His will and 2 bless us.. all in all tt summarizes the details of the prev paragraph..

wEiwEi
IMI
BAHTM
Seeacherweg 1, 6047 Kastanienbaum
Plays Basketball
Writes Chinese Poems
INTP Personality

GIRLSTOLOGY
RoY's Flower Shop
The Class BIHTM
Smartkids p2

Aaron
Abigail
Adelene
Alan
Angie
Anni
Alex
Catherine
Christine
Edna
Elise
Erika
Euquin
Fengmei
Guo Zheng
Huishan
Janson
Jeanine
Jiayan
Jiayi
Joceline
Joysi
Keith
Kenny
Madeline
Meixiu
Miguel
Mikko
Naomi
Patrick
Pei Ying
Peter
Samantha
Samuel
Shawn
Shing
Sylvia
Vanessa
Willy
Xiao Qian
Xin Hong
Zhen Cong
Zheng Wen






February 2005
March 2005
April 2005
May 2005
June 2005
July 2005
August 2005
September 2005
October 2005
November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
March 2006
April 2006
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
June 2009
July 2009
August 2009
September 2009
October 2009
November 2009
December 2009
January 2010






Designer: + +
Code Help: + +
Image: + +
{Image taken by designer}