Sunday, January 28, 2007
n0 w0nDeR..
i came back home wif my emotions battered beated and wounded.. and physically to.. and i finally understand y..
Dr AR Bernard msgs 4 these 2 daes has realli opened up my mind and opened up my eyes in my reality.. the reason y im like tt 4 the past wk is becoz i did not put value on God's word and i ended up the way i am..
but wat realli drilled into my mind is this: ppl will onli value me accordin 2 their emotions.. but God will always set a std of value and His perception of me nv changes..
most of the time when i failed 2 become wat i am.. i copied wat others ar and i realized tt i hav failed too becoz i am not them.. and the worst thing is when i become more like them.. i will keep on failin jus becoz im not them..
too chim?? it simply means jus 2 b simply me and all things will eventually come 2 a gd end..
the word tt Dr Bernard preached was so powerful tt i set myself 2 b wat God wans me 2 b.. i woke up this mornin feelin tired as usual.. wan 2 get back 2 slp but i rem the word.. i stood strong and waited 4 the LORD.. and slowly but surely i began 2 draw strength from God.. and i continued in my prayer lang.. and finally after a while it felt realli gdd.. when i finished prayin.. i went 2 brush my teeth and when i looked myself into the mirror.. i saw myself carryin the glory of God which i had nv seen 4 a long longgg time.. it was perhaps the 1st time this yr...
the msg tt Dr Bernard preached 4 these 2 daes?? 10/10.. period.
wEiwEi|4:56 PM
Saturday, January 27, 2007
DaEs 0f LPS
LPS = Leader Platoon Sergeant
yes.. i was nominated 2 b one.. and i jus finished the job yesterdae.. let me tell u.. it's a job tt's verii unpopular.. basically no one wans 2 do it..
i started it durin the last dae of field camp.. where everythin seems fine at the start.. the ppl were obedient as they listened 2 instructions.. however.. back at the coy line.. the nightmare begins..
when i opened up my eyes.. i am so busyzz tt i found myself no time 2 take a breather.. imagine all the time u ar runnin here and there.. up and down.. gettin instructions from ur sgt.. and mus b at all times at ur best becoz u ar the leader of the platoon..
at tt time i told myself.. im goin 2 break down if this goes on like this everydae..
i thank God the the leader section commanders were there 2 lighten up my load.. or else everythin would b terrible..
however.. i made lots of mistakes along the way.. my reportin and accountability was badd.. as such.. i nearly bein confined becoz of my mistakes.. however.. i realli fought for the long weekend i tink i deserved becoz im jus so tireddd.. so i decided 2 realli stay focused and concentrate hard.. my superiors saw the effort and i was able 2 book out on 1830 hrs on fri nite..
and when i reached home.. my face was so shagged.. when i jus lied down on the bed.. i jus slept from 9pm all the way till 7.. tt's like 10 hrs.. i hav nv slept so much since i entered the army..
thank God it's over.. however.. there were precious learnt.. it shall b a memorable exp 4 me..
wEiwEi|10:20 AM
Sunday, January 21, 2007
oUtFiELd t0ts
160107
2dae was my 1st outfield in SISPEC and we were taught abt sect formations.. personally i felt tt the exp is quite fun.. i played the role of a sect com and it's like adventure and play.. this is perhaps 1 of the best trainings..
however.. the deflation of the dae is crazy OC.. firstly he told the company i/c to move the company into the field so tt when it rains.. we had 2 endure all tt conditionsand weather.. it realli rained 4 a while but we proceed back 2 the trainin shed.. he came out again and talk wif all tt pride and heavy trainin stuff in the daes 2 come.. sometimes i wonder how the instructors could stand him.. i felt tt at times he is humanly insane when things get too comfy 4 us..
in short.. he wans 2 make life in SISPEC difficult 4 us..
200107
it's my christian bdae yesterdae.. wat was i doin yesterdae?? outfield.. im so overwhelmed by the trainin and worse still.. the instructor aka my sect com..
all my sect mates ar severly pressured by his words and actions.. most of the time i dunno wat 2 do but this instructor keep on shoutin and pressurin until everythin became blurr...
the dilemma i hav is this: i noe i can lead.. i can take care of 6 men.. but perhaps not in the inf unit.. i dun like the way.. the style and the plan of trainin.. look.. tomolo's sun already.. y am i still here??
crazy OC!! planned things 4 us so tt we could not find time 2 enjoy ourselves!! we ar not regulars.. we need freedom!! how could he lock us emotionally like this?? jus becoz he wans 2 clmib up 2 the top means he will do anythin even if he needs 2 tear us apart??
wEiwEi|6:46 PM
Sunday, January 14, 2007
ExHaUsTeD MeN, cRaZy OC
080107
we ar like exhausted machines in the SAF.. goin thru work and stuff everydae and at every end of the dae i jus lied dead on the bed.. after recoverin strength from slp.. we carry on wif our work again and at the end of the dae.. exhausted and dead.. this vicious cycle would probably continue 4 another 21 mths or so..
i jus thank God tt last nite when im late 4 my reportin time.. my sect com did not giv me extras as i got away wif it jus like tt..
well last sunday i met a familiar face but i did not went up and sae hi.. probably becoz we were changed.. if not at least.. i hav changed 4 a much better.. however.. if i see her again.. i would probably do the same thing i did yesterdae: livin the life tt is best 4 me..
100107
yesterdae was our range.. it was quite ok as the sgts were amazingly patient wif us.. however my OC is kinda crazy when he stepped into our admin area..
while we were readin magazines.. newspapers durin our rest intervals.. he stepped in and told us 2 keep all tt stuff.. scolded us 4 our bad attitude and left us all stunned..
rumors abt our current OC is tt he is even more crazy than the former charlie company OC.. as if the former charlie OC is not enuff.. this could even b worse.. well actualli so fasr so gdd.. he had not shown us his ultimanium..
however.. 2dae im like super shagg.. SOC i performed real badd in my opinion.. i purposely did not put in the max becoz OC jus wan 2 test our behaviors.. in my opinion.. tt's jus rubbish.. jus sae tt they hav no choice but 2 continue wif the trainin prog.. cut all tt crap..
im seriously thinkin abt conspirin against the OC.. rite now even bravo company got nites out.. wat if im the LSM and i propose nites off wif a 1 full page of report and the OC go crazy becoz he had actualli other motives..
it'll b quite scary though.. but it'll definitely b a real live thriller 4 the company.. lolzz..
wEiwEi|6:37 PM
tHe nEw yR StArTs
030107
last nite when i book in.. it was already quite late and 4 the 1st time i book in with a sleepy face.. however.. despite feelin sleepy.. my mind is hoverin wif tots..
i thank God tt my army life is taken care of.. however.. wat is most uncertain is my spiritual walk wif God this yr.. where would i be?? in ministry or cg?? wat has God called me 2 do?? these ar some of the qns i hav yet 2 find the ans..
in 2007 challenges awaits me.. however.. im positive tt i will overcome adversity wif my fightin spirit.. or should i sae.. its a sure thing tt i would overcome adversity wif my fightin spirit..
040107
i came across a sentence tt saes, "actualli the tragedy is not forgettin the past.. but rememberin them.."
at this pt of time i was reminded of phil 3:13, where we shall leave and 4get the things tt ar behindand lookin 4ward 2 the things tt ar ahead.. wonderful.. it shall b my rhema Word of the yr..
now has it been a sad yr?? no, not quite.. the journey is quite meaningful.. however.. 1 thing i do noe.. there's still the sgt rank waiting 4 me 2 achieve.. there's still the tuition ministry.. where the whole lot of kids ar waitin 2 b moulded.. there's still my fitness which needed 2 b improved.. tehre still the whole lot 2 do..
wEiwEi|6:28 PM
Monday, January 01, 2007
cL0sInG tHe yR 2006
251206
i realli had a great christmas this yr.. though it is not so excitin as last yr.. i felt tt this yr is meaningful though..
went for 3 svcs out of 5.. many china students come and i had an enjoyable time wif them.. however, i felt tti had a responsibility to take care of them and retain them in cg 2 become true disciples of Christ..
the highlight of this christmas is tt im able 2 spend the christmas wif eve and huimin.. to me its special becoz we had gone thru mani things 2gether and we realli treasure one another's company.. furthermore it is a good way 2 end the yr wif all the tough days we had gone thru this yr..
the prince of peace is realli faithful and true.. He reigns this christmas!!
281206
all music is gdd.. music brings healin 2 the soul.. when david plays the harp 4 king saul.. saul is able 2 feel peace in his heart..
i could rem a few pieces of gddd music.. one was written by pachalbel and its called canon.. it is beautifully written and the tunes jus sparked off my mind wif gdd memories of the past..
my sect mates played a few strokes of the guitar.. though i do not noe the songs tt they played.. the songs somehow stimulated my tots much.. all i can tink of is jus wonderful, excitin pasts and hopin 4 an even brighter future..
301206
they yr will come 2 an end tomolo.. lookin back.. it was realli a journey i will nv forget.. though everythin's not perfect nor peaceful.. it is certainly eventful..
from a poly student who does not like 2 work to a soldier who is determined and perhaps hardworkin.. this yr has been certainly meaningful..
this yr i had gone thru 4 diff marketplaces and each marketplace seemed 2 hav an impact in my life.. the 1st 3 mths is my final daes at poly.. fnally im out of tt place and i do miss some friendzz.. however i knew tt i could onli get an avg score in my exams as there were ppl more hardworkin than me.. tt time i tot 2 myself.. i do not like 2 study.. becoz i felt tt i could perform myself better in work rather than studyin..
and for the 6 mths im worked for 2 diff companies.. coca cola and SIAEC.. as a mkt surveyor and as a temp office worker.. both jobs ar rather slack and i could realli enjoy myself 2 the fullest.. in this period of time i shop alot.. eat alot.. but exercise verii little.. as a result i became verii weak in the mind and my mentality was to slack slack slack..
after tt i am enlisted to the army.. it serves as a wake up call 4 me becoz there ar so mani things 2 do and requires hardwork, focus and much concentration 2 perform my duties well.. and in BMT i hav indeed learnt alot of things.. but the biggest i hav ever learnt is not 2 let my hair down anyhow as laziness could cause the whole team of us 2 destruction..
rite now im kinda regretted tt i did not hav the spirit and mentality 2 perform and excel when im studyin.. how i wish i could study again..
all is NOT lost.. 2007 shall b the yr of hope.. i pray tt God would empower me and help me 2 redeem wat was lost.. for He is my redeemer and i noe His grace is sufficient 4 me..
wEiwEi|8:39 PM
