i felt tt most of the times i felt so "blinded" abt the things and the world ard me..

ehh no waiiiit.. or izzit they see a diff me and they wan 2 get a hold of me instead??

Jesus says, "look.. i will send u as a sheep among a bunch of wolves.."

its always the same thing.. firstly they will cast me down.. by mockin and screwin me up wif all the nonsense.. then they will intro me the techniques 2 overcome such probs: smoke.. curse.. bein heartless.. violence..

now didn't dr bernard sae tt we shall not inherit their values despite engagin culture and learnin and adaptin their language and knowledge?? i tink b4 he even preach tt im fully aware of it.. i would not mix my faith wif wat the world believed.. despit understandin their shortcomings and knowin wat and where they come from.. i still stood firm on my stand.. neither will i adapt these values nor will i teach my men or the other guys 2 overcome their probs wif the set of values from the world..

(whew.. feels better when i made my stand 4 God.. this entry is purely inspirational..)




man.. 4 the past wk realli no mood 2 bloggg... all becoz of the army open hse.. wake up earli then come home no pt bloggin already.. so tired tt i usu slp and slp and slpppppp all the time..

so mani things hav come across my mind and i finally had some time 2 organize them..

1. army open hse or AOH in short.. man thank God im not 1 of those ambassadors.. or else i'll hav 2 bring ppl ard the camp like a tour guide.. then like tt i gg (gd game) already.. but then again i hav 2 sit at the booth 1 whole dae do nothin waitin 4 somethin 2 happen.. but man its gddd.. i can siam all the frustratin things back in camp..

2. the biggest frustration i experienced rite now is the hauntin of my bravo coy CSM and the HQ CSM.. firstly the bravo bloke wans me 2 stay in.. and the HQ old man wans me 2 shift and relocate my bunk.. man im not relocatin ahzzz ehhh.. i've gotta sort it out sooner or later.. colin told me tt it was from the orders of our RSM.. man wat if we discuss this matter wif the RSM?? he seems 2 b a nice guy and i noe tt things could b solved..

3. as the AOH official openin is drawin near everyone who ar involved (except the medics) ar gettin busier and work schedule is like realli hectic.. my coy 2ic constantly ring me up 4 the medical stuffs which is 2 b displayed at AOH.. sgt goh also ring me up 4 some matters too.. i was wonderin if im not there.. their plans will b a total mess.. well tt dun feel gddd.. so i better stick 2 them and demand a gddd off 4 when it's all over ahzz ehhh..

4. tt dae when all is settled and i tot tt i could rest.. there was a miss call.. later i found out it was anni who called askin me whether im comin 4 her bdae party.. i got a total shock!! I'VE FORGOTTEN ABT IT~~!! (man im realli sorri anni..) i quickly get changed and cycled down 2 her hse and within 15min i reached.. and i realized tt im the onli guy in the whole party!! man im totally shocked AGAIN.. well then i ate abit.. talked wif my sec sch pals and i found out tt they wanted 2 do some e-biz and they wanted me 2 help them.. great.. i tot.. 1 more job on hand.. (but seriously gals.. i dunno how much i can help u all.. i'll do my best ok?? i promise i wont do the job half-heartedly lahz..)

5. i cant believe it.. how come our cg mem ar realli photogenic?? all my botak pics from BMT till now were taken by mr joe's classic sony black cam.. all were ok and nice.. but none realli impressive and outstandin.. becoz i realli no mood 2 take pics.. esp my botak daes and 4-3-2-1 daes.. and now my hair is freakin short also.. mayb wait 4 a later time lor.. but how come all the guys also like 2 take photo verii much???? this is not possible.. but man.. they sure had taken alot of photos!!

so frustrations can still go on and on and on.. man i realli need the peace of God..




imagine...

wEiwEi.. CSM (church sergeant major) of CHC.. (for u civilians out there who dunno wat's a sergeant major is.. it is like a discipline master takin care all the regimental matters of the soldiers..)

(oh greattt.. if there's realli this post in church.. i'll surely sign on.. as a staff in CHC.. lolzz..)

shouts: "henda-kaki-cepat-herrrrrrrrrnnnn..taaa~~!!!!"

(christians march on the same spot.. and they started singin...)

"down by the down by the left foot down ya!!
ONE!!
can't hear u ya!!
TWO!!
shout louder ah!!
THREE!!
much better ah!!
FOUR!!

all together now..
ONE TWO THREE FOUR!!

WEEEEEEE... COME FROM A MINISTRY
FAMOUS IN CHC
COME FROM A FAMOUS SPECIAL MINISTRY (HEY!!)
WE FIGHT FOR HIS GLORY
FIGHT FOR THE VICTORY
FIGHT WIF A SPIRIT WE HAV KNOWN BEFORE (HEY!!)

JESUS... WARRIORS.. ALL THE WAY!!
WE LIKE IT HERE WE LIKE IT HERE
WE CALL THIS OUR HOME (HEY!!)
A HOME, (HEY!!) A HOME SWEET HOME!!

then.. holdin firm on the parade stick.. i'll try 2 find fault on the christians..

wEiwEi: "ehhh u u.. soldier of Christ.. keep in the file.. dun move!!"

then i'll hold my parade stick.. go up and salute pastor 2 takeover the service.. b4 we start the praise and worship..

talk abt regimentality.. looks like all's a joke ehh??




suddenly she talked 2 me.. or rather.. sent me a nudge in msn..

but when i wanted 2 reply her.. she's offline already..

well dun blame me mahz.. i was playin heroes 3 + watchin TV.. when both sides get intense i wouldn't even the alert sound of the msn..

but when she nudged me.. suddenly i was wonderin.. should i even talk 2 her?? well im realli confused..

i met her durin my recruit daes.. jus when i felt tt no gals wanted 2 talk 2 this botak head.. she came and talked 2 me.. and of coz i returned the favor.. she has been verii interested in my trainin and i shared wif her abit of wat i hav been thru..

things progress slowly but smoothly.. soon things began 2 click.. i felt myself in an awkward position.. should i go 4 her or should i not?? there ar quite a few reasons y i should go 4 her and quite a few reasons y i should not go 4 her.. i was so confused..

however.. we continued communicatin via msn.. everythin went well and i tot our relationship is progressin.. but when she told me 2 meet her 1 dae and i went 2 the place and waited 4 her.. she wasn't there.. i waited for 15 min and i called her but the num was not in used.. dissapointed wif anger.. i left the place..

i still could not get over the betrayal of trust i had wif her.. for weeks i've seen her online but nv realli tok 2 her.. onli 2dae.. she sent me a nudge.. but when i saw it she was already offline..

now wat if i realli tok 2 her?? i realli dunno wat 2 sae.. perhaps i would jus ask her how she's doin and all tt stuff.. coz there's a gap rite now in between of us.. and it had 2 b reconciled..




ever since i hav entered into the army.. it seems tt God always put me in diff situations 2 overcome..

now my stand 4 God's action is this: God is gddd.. but the decision is cruel.. and eventually i will get somethin out of it.. (i mean i look at xinhong's bro liang hong.. he's a talented man.. been wif Christ 4 a longer time than me.. and yet he was posted as a cbt engineer in seletar.. someone who has more passion than me eventually ended up in somewhere realli uncomfortable..)

and as 4 me.. i hav been thru tough trainings in BMT.. been thru the least welfare and tough trainin in SISPEC.. suffered quite abit durin my medical trainin course.. and now i ended up again at the least welfare coy in the battalion.. wat was God thinkin??

and when i see the things ard me bein so baddd and yet determined 2 believe God will turn all things 4 the gd 2 those who loved Him.. my thoughts became a total stalemate.. most of the time i realli doubt wat God was doin is gdd 4 me.. but time and gain i shun off this idea becoz w/o faith its impossible 2 pls God..

but im realli tired.. i dunwan 2 run anymore.. rite now i thank God tt administratively im still under HQ.. where things were still quite straightened out.. i jus wished tt i could perform the 10 miracles in the book of exodus in xchange 4 my freedom..

no.. tt's it.. im gonna lay down the blueprint on wat im goin 2 do now till the ened of the yr and eventually nxt yr.. im goin 2 believe im gonna overcome all odds in Christ's name..




man.. the 9pm show honour and passion is comin 2 an end.. jus when everythin's gettin excitin the show has onli a few episodes left on hand..

but on the other hand.. if they do not end it in the near future.. this show will b kinda draggy.. perhaps the audience would not love it.. lolzz..

but shucks.. so far no real action.. it'll b interestin if they make it like a war movie.. on how the main cast fell in love in the army and not out in the civilian world.. but on the other hand.. this kinda settin would onli favor the regulars and the enciks of the field who dun even care abt 9pm dramas on channel 8 or perhaps would onli watch TV durin the weekends..

but so far no real action.. firstly the master warrant poh in the show had onli b seen for a few times wearin uniform.. man.. most of the time he was DANCING~~!!! can u imagine the enciks learn how 2 dance.. probably not.. ok it was probably fair enuff tt he joined dancin classes becoz he was a divorcee and would probably wan 2 find a wife.. no wonder some of SAF enciks hav big bellies becoz they were actualli havin a gd lifee... (come 2 tink of it.. perhaps warrant md noor should stop smokin and pick up dancin.. muaahahhahahh..)

but wat's impressive abt the show is tay ping hui who played the role of a captain in a red beret.. however is quite awkward 2 hav a high rankin officer 2 go thru several more tough trainings.. but nevertheless he displayed the aura of a commando and i felt tt he represents the role of a commando veriii well..

so the story goes where he loves her.. she dun love him.. he loves someone else.. she loves someone else etc etc.. initially i find it disturbin.. i mean.. i'll prob treat it as another ordinary show if the plot goes on like this.. but jus when im abt 2 get used 2 it the show is comin 2 an end.. man..




tink abt it.. the prince of the clan has shown u the elixir of life tt empowers his warriors.. he even told u abt the abilities tt the elixir and would invite u 2 drink of it.. in return askin 4 the trust and the pledge for a lifetime loyalty 2 the clan.. would u commit 2 it??

for most ppl they will at all costs seal and pledge their hearts 2 this clan.. but as for me.. i hav actualli other plans..

for me i see a pattern of gradual dominance for the prince.. he made u drink of the elixir and when u became strong u hav actualli became useful 2 him.. as he is the prince he hav of coz dominion over u and the elixir.. and we will eventually need 2 depend on him.. soon enuff we realized tt we became slaves to the soul..

in the process it'll perhaps been a brainwashin effect.. i got so convinced tt the goodness it'll bring.. but i nv take the deal immediately.. if i actualli believe every single word he saes i'll b actualli a dumb soldier.. but as long as i live.. i'll not b persuaded easily by someone whom i dunno or someone whom i hav yet earned the trust from..

the commitment qn will come back 2 me again.. sometimes w/o a choice.. it mayb a forced decision 2 accept.. it'll b cruel 2 make a decision like tt..




the more we wanted to go against.. the more we will flaw in our mind..

indeed the wide way of life would lead us into terrible destruction.. but the narrow way is not an easi rd.. it's bumpy.. challengin and there is a whole lot of rules on how 2 walk across the danger areas tt we faced.. despite its difficulty navigatin... there's actualli a promise.. tt is the light at the end of the road.. the light which gives everlastin life and life more abundantly..

on the other hand the wide path of life is dazzlin.. shiny and its free.. we can jus travel on it w/o facin much difficulties but is vulnerable to the destruction of life.. however.. there is no need 2 follow the rules of walkin along the path despite the fact tt an unknown speed car may jus travel in full velocity and knock down ur path b4 u reach the final destination..

when i was younger sometime back.. im so enthusiastic abt walkin and travellin along the bumpy paths.. despite hurts and falls.. it didn't stop me 2 carry on.. i would jus move clingin in curiosity abt the everlastin life of light tt was promised at the end of the road..

as time goes by.. the road dun seemed excitin 2 walk anymore.. however this time the wide path seems attractive and mani times i nearly got banged down.. i walk back reluctantly 2 the narrow path tt was catered 4 me but i went out 2 the wide path again.. so after walkin in and out of the road 4 quite some time i began 2 grow weary..

if onli i could jus walk w/o any worries.. and let me jus die down there if im realli knocked down!! and its not tt i dun dare.. i realli dunno wat 2 do.. eventually it became a struggle 2 walk either ways..

the struggle soon became my biggest frustration.. i began so frustrated tt i eventually shouted out like a madman.. for once i noe.. i wasn't myself.. coz if i were.. i would NOT hav shouted.. even though i tried many times.. i couldn't bring myself to.. but this time i did.. i let it out like nobody business.. im totally berserk..

after all tt it's a total deep sorrow.. still the decision for the path to take remains.. i erred so much.. i felt so lost.. wat's the decision now??




alrite man if i dun vent everythin out here i'll probably go mad.. 4 the least..

seems tt 2dae's not my dae..

man 2dae's supposed 2 b my off dae but becoz of the parade i hav 2 b back in camp last nite.. so when dawn comes.. the parade starts.. and i nearly fainted coz i didnt myself properly.. thank God i didn't..

after the parade is back 2 daily work.. gatherin all the sick ppl.. 2dae's their book out dae and yet 10 over ppl came and report sick.. im so furious.. i told the chao geng recruits tt they take the medicine onli and not get any excuse letters unless they realli had to.. and after tt they misbehave in the med ctr.. i still hav 2 shou at them.. and its more tougher when i had a sore throat.. after i dumped them at the med ctr i took my off and went out of camp..

parents asked me out 4 dinner in the evenin.. went wif them 2 cafe cartel initially.. but when we SAT DOWN already mum actualli dun feel like eatin and i also dunno wat 2 eat.. in the end she wanted 2 change and dad made the 1st move.. talkin nicely 2 the waiter tt we ar leavin as i pulled my cap way down and walked out of the restaurant.. then we went 2 hav la mian..

after tt when we shop 4 groceries mum kept pesterin me 2 try the chocolate gummy i bought.. she kept pesterin me all the way until im damn pek chek.. and in the midst of my frustration i dropped my sony ericsson K610i on a HARD CONCRETE FLOOR and it split open to 3 parts: phone.. battery and battery cover.. i grumbled and groaned all the way back home..

when i went back home i tried 2 install a game 2 my psp.. finally there's some life in my psp 4 a longgg time.. but when i installed it already the game could not b started.. later i realized tt my current version is too new tt it cant play too old games.. man!!

nvm.. the worst has came.. there should not b anythin worse than this already..






SOURCE: NBA.COM

da-dang-dang-da-da-dum-dum-dang-dang..!!!

yeahhhhhhh~~!!! Ray allen.. Paul pierce and now Kevin Garnett!! woohhooooooo..

therefore nxt season i'll support the celtics..

it's a cruel decision.. coz previously i support the lakers and now i hav switched teams.. but aniwae kobe seems doubtful abt stayin wif the lakers.. accordin 2 the sources... but it realli doesn't make sense coz both the lakers and the celtics were long time rivalries and buy supportin the celtics means tt im supportin my prev enemy.. well aniwae the world doesn't make sense at times.. so y should i make any sense wif the NBA??

and wat 4 shall i remain my loyalty 2 the lakers when the franchise did not make effort 2 improve on its players??

aniwae garnett's realli cool.. when i 1st saw him he's much leaner than the rest of the forwards.. but i admire his ability when i watch him dazzle in the and1 videos.. and tt was quite some time ago.. 2dae his a all-rounded bball player where he can shoot.. rebound and take on 1-on-1 against players..

go celtics!!!

wEiwEi
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