Wednesday, June 04, 2008
sEeMeD s0 mEaNiNgLeSs
jus now when i had dinner wif my parents at rivervale mall food court.. i ordered a bowl of pig organ soup w/o rice.. my dad was puzzled y i didnt hav any rice and i told him i wasn't tt hungry.. he then ordered yong tau foo w/o any rice or noodles.. entered in mum.. who seemed so shagged and lost.. ordered onli a plate of fruits..
so dinner seemed realli sluggish.. nothin much 2 mention abt..
past few daes hav been diligently prayin 4 an hr.. and i realli prayed in my heart tt the passion 4 prayin an hr wont die down.. becoz somewhere along the way i noe tt i'll not b able 2 take it.. and i'll jus ceased prayin.. and then tt's it.. the 21 dae prayer mission fail..
i mus admit its a kinda bad habit also.. most of the time im so short fused.. passionate abt somethin 4 a while and then the flame jus die off.. thank God im not like tt towards God.. the flame rekindles everytime.. but when it comes 2 doin things im jus like tt.. or even into relationships.. like a gal realli fast.. then after a while dun realli like anymore..
then i look at my week which is abt 2 pass.. wat did i realli accomplish so far 4 this wk?? nothin realli.. except the fact tt i prayed thru 4 an hr.. everydae is so mundane.. PT-rest-rest-PT.. prob all these PT could help me develop muscles lor.. tt's all.. but somethin meaningful?? none realli..
i dunno 4 the nxt 21 daes wat kind of exp God will bring me.. prob somethin borin.. i tot.. coz nxt wk when ops start i'll b jus chillin out at a corner waitin 4 somethin happen again.. and when tt happens i'll prob go crazy again jus like in mar when we did the ops..
i strongly believe tt my life is more than this: sittin ard as a cover medic.. waitin 4 somethin 2 happen.. if nothin happens i jus mine my own business.. i seriously need 2 do somethin..
wEiwEi|9:02 PM
