Friday, March 21, 2008
mEnTaL HaEm0rRaHgE
i jus felt so drained now tt in back home.. physically im ok.. mentally i tot i could not take it anymore.. as i walked out from camp jus now i tot tt i was goin 2 die from severe brain damage..
since i hav duty this sun at the SAF ward.. y not i jus report sick 4 depression this sun 2 the duty MO there??
i realli dun understand.. after 2 wks of ops huntin 4 mas selamat.. i wasn't "paid back" wif any off days.. instead we were told 2 prepare our necessary stuff 4 the upcomin taiwan trip.. and i dun feel like goin 2 taiwan.. 2 mths back when im in brunei i tot tt taiwan would b a better place 2 train and im lookin 4ward 2 it.. now it doesn't seem so.. i not lookin 4ward 2 the upcomin taiwan trip.. im tired.. i need some rest..
and i onli hav less than 6 mths 2 ORD.. i haven even submit any applications 2 any local universities yet.. i hav filled up the forms tt were needed but i haven formally applied a placin 4 my university becoz of my "THEY-THINK-THEY-AR THE-BEST" unit..
if they play down the fact tt they tink they ar the best.. then it'll shall b the "YOU-WILL-NEVER-CLEAR-UR-LEAVE-B4-U-ORD" unit.. this yr i got a few of my spec friendz who had little or no chance in clearin their offs and leaves b4 they ORD.. 1 of them even extend their ORD date by 10 daes becoz of the upcomin taiwan ex.. (of coz wif peer pressure.. by those who ORD some time later and those regulars.. esp the biggest 2 from our coy..)
is the SAF realli deprivin our study needs?? wrong.. its onli this freak unit tt is deprivin so.. perhaps it has structured a culture tt shut down our intelligence in the society and therefore makin us redundant and deviated.. and when we wan 2 switch 2 become prospective young bright things of the outside world we couldn't realli do so.. well done 2SIR.. it seemed tt "READY!!" had made each an every poor NSF becomin a chiong-sua freak..
perhaps i realli chose the wrong route of becomin a spec.. i wanted a gdd pay.. i was perhaps realli greedy 4 the xtra few hundred a mth.. little did i noe tt i end up gettin all the wrong things tt i did not wan..
alrite.. its realli gonna b over.. less than 6 mths...
wEiwEi|10:52 PM
