Wednesday, December 26, 2007
pEaCeFuL
i would call this christmas season peaceful.. usu i'll always suffer the tot of havin a "lonely christmas".. most of the time i would tink of spendin christmas jus drinkin vodka or to jus chill out wif some friendz at the void deck.. but no.. i'll jus keep my emotions down as i spend this time home preparin myself 4 a new yr..
rite now i had gotten over the tot of missin my bdae and valentine's dae and missin another impt bdae again.. (yes.. its daryl bdae i shall miss..) i jus hope tt i'll not get involved into any forms of media and conversation which they mention valentine's dae.. (or could u guys jus do me a favor nxt yr?? DUN SEND ME ANY HAPPI BDAE MSGS ON THE DAE OF MY ACTUAL BDAE..) sometimes ppl jus tell me not 2 b saddd.. or stay cheertful and encourage me and all.. but if u dun sae anythin it'll b jus my motivation 2 move on becoz i'll not tink anythin abt it or tt matters..
and i tot of gettin over one's emotions can b useful 2 help the younger ones.. nowadays ppl tok abt bein emo emo.. but bein emotional can realli waste loads of time.. i would describe bein emotional as thinkin tt the past is sweet and the future is bitter.. its also a tot of "wat would hav been??" instead of "wat could we do??".. in simple terms.. its an inability 2 let go of wat's done and look 4ward to wat's ahead..
God gave me a rhema Word at the startin of this yr.. "i press towards for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus" (phil 3:14) i do not noe wat it meant.. i tot its 2 fight my way thru and endure all the hardship and pain there were lyin in front of me.. but despite endurin all these hardship and pain.. i couldn't help but feel saddd abt wat was happenin and was abt 2 happen 2 me.. but later i realized the upward call of Christ Jesus is actualli of a higher callin and its bigger than the events tt were goin 2 happen as it is the hope and the vision God has given 2 me.. tt's y its backed up by phil 3:13 which saes tt 2 4get the pass and 2 press on 2 the future.. the upward call is the vision and the future paved ahead by God Himself..
perhaps im rather critical 2 myself by callin the yr crap.. i hav actualli gained somethin intangible which would empower me in my future.. therefore i changed my mind.. i tink my decision's "rashly crap"
wEiwEi|11:02 PM
