Sunday, February 25, 2007
d0 s0mEtHiN
tutors meetin at ruth's hse 2dae.. we had a great time fellowship.. but at the same time it was a meaningful 1..
my superior ruth asked me abt my future commitment abt the tuition ministry.. as i couldn't gave her an outright yes.. she asked y..
i told her tt the reason was my cgl refusal 2 release me.. as daryl told me 2 suspend my ministry work 4 the time bein.. she sae i should not b doin this.. coz its like manipulation.. and my life is mine 2 control as i should make a firm decision on my desires and my decision..
when she sae tt.. she exposed my dilemma.. i wan 2 serve.. but i cant..
there were so mani times in the past.. where i had 2 go 4 makeup cg jus 2 serve in my tuition ministry.. however.. some time ago.. daryl wans me 2 show commitment 2 cg meetings and so i had 2 compromise.. where i serve and attend regular cg meetin alternately..
now when im in the army.. things slightly became diff.. i had 2 giv in 2 my reg cg meetin becoz i cant go 4 cg meetings on week nites.. and tuition ministry was served in an ad hoc basis.. whenever time allows.. i will go back..
things became diff now.. tuition has rised 2 another level.. the tutors mus all b commited as the prog has changed and the tutors were demanded 2 hav a higher std of teachin as trainin is catered 2 us..
which means.. i hav 2 b there every wk..
there's onli 1 win-win situation: set the cg meetin timin 2 a later part of the dae..
this could barely b realized as i noe tt i cant b selfish and sacrifice 4 the gd of the cg..
which means im left wif 2 options: go 4 makeup or leave the ministry..
which means tt i'll rather spend less time fellowshippin wif my cg mem or i'll quit teachin..
i felt tt i love my life.. i love my ministry and my cg.. but most impt is givin a tot in my future.. the vision i had mus b followed closely and work mus b done 2 reach towards the goal..
decision mus b made..
wEiwEi|7:19 PM
