Friday, March 11, 2005
tt BeAuT|fU| bUt UnCeRtA|n M|nD..
on my way home back from the choir rehearsal.. i tot of some things in my cell grp..
i asked myself.. how mani true christian friendz do i realli hav?? the ans is: alot.. ok nxt qn: how mani christian friendz i could always go out wif all the time, doin the same things, havin the common topics and sharing each other inner's problems?? the ans is: NONE.. shockingly none.. everytime im out wif cg.. the topics is always ministry and "how's ur week?? how ar u??" those kinds of "stranger" qn.. and i realli admire other cell grps.. they hav 1 big gang of guys playin bball.. they had 1 big grp of guys jokin wif each other and it whenever they ar in church.. it's jus heaven 4 them.. whereas everytime when im in church.. it's always jus church 4 me..
and lookin at s25/s24.. how mani guys am i able 2 stick wif?? NONE.. i got a liitle uncomfortable sometimes when talkin 2 brian, willy, daryl and gerade.. i seldom get chances 2 see joseph coz he had a crazy work schedule and zhen zhou is in camp but when he's not he's always stickin wif xingni, angie and sis esther.. and usu i would stick wif alan but i realized tt he's still not tt close 2 me.. izzit becozz of the lack of guys in our cg?? or izzit we didn't attempt 2 reach out more? and also a gal cant b my best friendz.. period. and it seems tt everytime in cg im the onli guy not talkin 2 everyone else..
alrite so mayb i hav a problem wif everyone else.. but.. tt's not the pt.. take zhen cong 4 example.. he's the one i considered faithful.. when my relationship goes wrong.. he would jus listen.. when things goes wrong.. he would jus help.. when he got some gd deals.. he would jus share wif me... and though he's not a christian.. he's my best friendz and no 2 to Jesus.. and i realli thank the sisters 4 makin effort 2 tok 2 me.. but noe this.. i would not pour out my life in front of the gal.. i would not tell my inner secrets b4 a gal.. reason: u didn't noe the life of a guy..
i thank God tt He put me in children church tuition and also in TP harvesters where it is mostly male populated and i realli enjoyed these 2 ministries.. though we dun realli meet tt often.. i jus find the sense of belonging in these 2 grps.. and mayb tt's the remedy of forgettin the "broken" things deep, down me...
face it weiwei.. everydae in ur life the face ar virtually b4 u.. and on weekends, is physically b4 u..
wEiwEi|1:09 AM
